Feeling full of joyful spirits today, a day of tender touches and sweet smells, Christmas is a beautiful day. Every year is a bit different and expectations are always high, but I'm learning to appreciate each one for what it is. It's a bit troubling when you get older, no longer a child under their parents' roof, to know how to celebrate. Is the magic gone? Maybe it's just changed.

I do miss the sleepless night of anticipation on Christmas Eve. The bite-sized chocolate inside the advent box. The image of my siblings racing toward Santa's deliveries under a twinkly tree. I miss the surprise of snow, and the sniffles that prove it's finally fallen. I cherish my nostalgia. My child-like heart is fond of remembering magical Christmases, too many to count. 

This year I slept in. I made a batch of cookies before eating breakfast. I turned the radio to BOB'S Christmas station. I plugged in the tiny lights on our tiny tree. The magic has changed but it hasn't disappeared. This was my first Christmas waking up next to my love, Alex. The first Christmas I can't see my toes due to my 9-month growing baby. My first Christmas where the joy of giving a gift exceeded the expectations of receiving one. Our first Christmas cooking a turkey. This is the beginning of our Christmases. We have to choose the traditions now, and create a bit of the magic. But the real, the good stuff, is still here. I saw it on the sunny walk we took this afternoon. I smelled it as I sipped from my mug of hot tea. I feel it when I clasp my hands below my belly and think, only a few more days until my greatest gift arrives. I love Christmas, and now, I get to reinvent those magical moments for my own daughter, which is a new kind of magic all together. 

Merry Christmas, let your heart be filled.


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