18 Months // Growing Pains

I laid in bed the other night thinking about Florence, as I do so many nights. I still had the bedtime song we sing playing in my head, "Elmo sings you a song, a kiss on the cheek...". I thought about the food she didn't eat for dinner, bits of pasta and chicken scattered around her placemat, a mess I lazily leave to clean up in the morning. I remember how today she said the word "mermaid", clear as day, my heart violently applauding her from down the hallway. 

With my head on the pillow, it hit me that I know all these things, only I do. 

I started to think how if something happened to me, where would all these special and specific pieces of knowledge go? If one morning I just didn't wake up? Of course, there is Papa, but it's me that is home everyday. It's me that sings our favorite songs and decides when we go or stay. Me that knows that "oosh" means shoes and "eesh" means cheese. I am the key to the box of her most intimate moments. For now, at least, I know all of it.

So I wrote out a list titled "Florence 18 Months, Everything You Need to Know". I used every remaining page in my notebook.  

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Today we visited the home where Flori will be starting daycare in a few weeks. Just two days a week. Really, just one full day and one half day. Really, just 12 hrs. This is a step that feels gigantic for me. One that I've been inching towards everyday since I first held her. For her, it's like moving up in shoe sizes. She'll do it and it's only me that can see the old, smaller pairs sitting on the shelf. 

I realize it's less that she needs me, it's more that I am scared to miss out on knowing every detail.

But I know too, that I can do this. I will be okay. I do believe there are gifts hidden in these changes ahead of us, in getting a few hours to work quietly in my studio. The mental clarity I'll have a chance at with those few afternoons to myself will pay off. It's a step we both will grow into. These are the growing pains that I knew would one day come. I just didn't remember how much they can ache.  

Summery Makeup Style

Doing a post on makeup feels a little out of my box, if I'm being honest about it. I can't remember now exactly why I had the idea to talk about it in the first place, but I actually really enjoyed putting this one together. 

Growing up I didn't feel entitled to wear makeup. For one, I was athletic and I never had friends or sisters that were much into getting dolled up, so I never learned how to wear it or buy it. And then from my own place, I felt compelled to seek beauty in other ways which then I could only understand by rejecting parts of my femininity. I thought that you had to be either or. Athletic and ungirly or feminine and makeup wearing. For years, I just stirred clear of that feminine territory.  

It was a confirming moment for me when, at nearly 30 years old, one of my best friends told me she likes wearing makeup because it makes her feel more adult. I totally agree. In the past few years I have embraced my femininity in a way that makes me feel free to express my body. Makeup has been a fun part of my maturing. It's been an outlet for me to embrace a side of myself I didn't understand before.     

   

As a makeup minimalist, I generally use just four products, which I'll share with you. Part of my minimalism comes from still not having a lot of experience with makeup, so I stick to easy basics that give a nice pop and hardly take any time to apply. I also just like the look of light, airy makeup.

 My four things:

1. Facial Oil (john masters organics)

Because I spend a lot of time under the sun playing with Florence, I use this nourishing facial oil. It keeps my face feeling rejuvenated after being exposed to sun rays and being in and out of chlorinated pools. My skin is also very dry, even in the summer. It's definitely a middle to heavy oil I wouldn't recommend it unless you're on the dry skin end of the spectrum. I use it at the end of the day, after I've washed my face or showered. However, for a dewy summer look, I apply it on my eye lids and creases when put on mascara.

2. Blushhhhh (Gabriel)

Blush is by far my favorite piece of makeup. I love a rosy cheek look, especially for the summer with sunned skin and freckles. This one I like a lot, it's called Apricot by Gabriel. You can buy it at Whole Foods.

3. Mascara (L'Oreal)

I have a hard time finding great mascaras. I loathe a clump prone mascara. This Voluminous stick by L'Oreal works pretty well. I also prefer a finer applicator. I'm still searching for a perfect mascara.

4. Lip Color (Aveda)

I'm a solid fan of Aveda products and I especially love their lip sticks. My favorite color is this pinky coral, Peruvian Lily. I also like to mix lip colors, do you do this? I have a light nude pink that I mix for a lighter look.

Thanks Instagram friends for encouraging me to lean into my feminine side and share my makeup routine! I've also been totally inspired this makeup wizard woman, my cousin-in-law, she's incredibly talented and fun.    

DIY Play Scape

Hey friends, last week I made this play scape for Florence's animals and a few of you asked me to put it up on the blog so you could be inspired to make your own. One of my favorites of all of Flori's toys are her sets of animal figurines. Out of desperation, I bought a little pail of these mini ones at the airport a few weeks ago on our way back from Utah! We recently went to the zoo with my sister and nieces and seeing the animals there got me thinking I want to make a little "zoo" for Flori's animals. 

So I went digging through my craft supplies to see what I could conjure up. I just used a flat piece of card board (an insert from something) and cut pieces of felt out for the "terrain". I also had some of these green grassy balls and craft moss (you can get at Hobby Lobby or Michaels). I found some craft pebbles too, which are Florence's favorite thing to try and pull off. 

Arrange all your pieces to make your own play scape and then use a hot glue gun to secure it all in place. It's a fun and cheap little project to play with! Share pics with me on IG of how yours turns out!

happy zoo building :)

When the Sun is Out

Florence and I just got back from spending a week with my sister in Utah. She has three amazing girls. And, though I don't get to see them more than once a year, I still love the connections I have to each of them. It's been quite special to see them grow and change. They're a fuller version of themselves each time I see them again.

The best part of being an aunt is that you're not the parent, and therefore, you can just be a grown up kid. During the week with my nieces, we spent time making music videos with that app, Musically. It's a favorite past time of mine now, if you've never played with it, you probably should. We jumped on the trampoline and drove their big family four-wheeler around the neighborhood. We watched Frozen (my first time, wow) and ate ice cream. We painted nails and read books and talked about boys. I love their individualities, as sisters and as girls. It reminds me of how each child comes in to the world with a different lens, it's beautiful to nurture to their unique beings.

This is a photoshoot I did with my 12 yr old niece, one of the last days of our visit. She was my first niece, and I lived with her for a short time when she was 2. I remember wondering what kind of person she would grow up to be, as I played with her, a barely walking human then. At 12, she's bright and witty and loves basketball. She draws and writes stories. She's incredibly caring and her sisters look up to her with both eyes. I'm so excited to see where her heart is led as she continues to grow. You're a sun, my girl, I'll always see your place in the sky.