Monday Inspiration // Creating a Date Night

Now that Florence is one, Alex and I decided we wanted to get serious about making some time for us. Going into parenthood, we both wanted to be intentional about not letting our relationship slip away. Of course, we knew things would change and that many of the things we used to do together as a couple wouldn't be realistic with an infant. The biggest thing we didn't prepare for was how tired the both of us are at the end of the day that even when we want to make time for each other, it's hard to. Most weekends the most we feel like doing is sleeping in and lounging around the house-which is totally fine but it's easy to forget what it's like to look forward to something together. To learn something new together (besides parenting stuff). It's incredibly revitalizing to step outside of the house and out of the parenting bubble for a breath of air and do something that is centered on the chemistry of two.

So to make this happen we picked a set day every month, no excuses. As soon as we decided this, I found a babysitter in the neighborhood. And booked her for our first date.

And when Saturday night came around we were both tired. I considered calling the sitter to cancel. I nearly forced myself to change my clothes and brush my hair, but we had committed to this night and I wanted to see it though. So we went out. We walked to a local brewery we'd been curious about. We played darts. I had a soda. An older woman gave us tips on how to win at ping pong. We made jokes and ate popcorn, and it was everything we needed, and nothing fancy. And the funny thing is, when we got home later that night, I actually felt I had more energy, not less.

Now, we're both set on making the next 11 dates happen over the next year. I'm excited about it. We both are.

What do you do to keep your relationship balanced? Date night ideas?!

photo by Bluebird Day Studio

A Brief on Motherhood, One Year In

This year. 

This year has been: 365 taped-together miracles. Of nurturing. Of unexplainable beauty. Attachment. Untethered love. Immense sacrifice. Quietening guilt. Catastrophic joy. A year of being lost and, eventually, found. One year after Florence's birth, I am beginning to recognize myself again. 

Motherhood has changed me with the gravity of its demands, emotionally and physically. My heart is saturated with joy and glee - the best of loving a tiny person. My peace, my sense of self, and my mental health are dangling off the other end of the scale, in the desperate hope of something that resembles balance - the constraints of loving a tiny person.   

I have had to let go.

The past year is a pile of days that cannot be tidied, only bundled into a messy lump I dare not to pick up for a while, afraid that I'll set them all loose, scattering my life into mayhem once again. Some days ring so loudly in my ears, I want to set them to rest for good. Others remain smooth and whole like pebbles in my palm. I carry those days around with me, polishing my favorites. When I do look back, though I rarely do at this stage, I find relief to be stronger than nostalgia. Though, I'm convinced time will eventually flip that. It feels healthy that we're here, standing over two feet tall, with hair and teeth that need brushing (Florence) and a mom (me) that has a chance to brush her own.

We are one. And right now, that is everything.

Teabook

If there were a season in which I remained forever, it would be the fall. I want to be remembered along with the mornings that have turned cold and burst with the big bright sun. I would spell my name in the wind blown debris as it moves along street curbs and fills up decorative lawn bags. The kids walking home from school might notice me drifting between their steps hoping to get caught on the lace of a shoe. I'd settle in along with the rest of the world as it slows down for evening dinners around hot food and rolled up sleeves. The moon would be my final face, it's heavy emergence quiets all who stare long enough, dismissing the need for words. 

I can't help but be moved by the fall. Isn't there something so energizing about seasonal shifts? For me the fall is a new start, a time to shed old skin, empty your closets of all the things that have crept in over the months. Perhaps my Minnesota origin comes out in the fall. It knows that life contains long winters and falls that aren't long enough. 

One of my favorite rituals, that always signals the oncoming of fall for me, is drinking tea. I used to only think of tea as a cold remedy or sweetened summer beverage, I had no idea about good tea. Then during college I had friends that worked at tea shops and a good friend that spent a lot of time in China and they taught me about good quality tea, how to brew it and how to drink it. I've been hooked ever since. 

Recently, I got to try tea from this really neat start-up, Teabook. They ship different loose leaf teas to your door every month. I love this because since moving to Atlanta I haven't been able to find a source for high quality, unique teas.  

Here's a quality comparison between a standard black tea off the shelf at the grocery store (left) and the black tea I got from Teabook (right). Higher quality tea will actually look like dried leaves instead of the fine "dust" and broken up tea in low quality.

The first good tea I tried was a green tea, so I think I'll always be a green tea lover. Teabook sent a Dragon Well in their box last month and it blew my mind. It's buttery and smooth and keeps me going through the afternoons with Flori. 

They also sent a beautiful glass tumbler for steeping. Gotta love the easy, on-the-go aspect!

The tea stays incredibly fresh sealed in these little packets...

This post is created in partnership with Teabook. So grateful for the chance to work with such an inspiring company! Thanks for spreading our world with good tea :)

The Lob

With the move to Atlanta I've had to search for a new stylist. I adored my salon in Austin and always was overjoyed with my haircuts there. It takes a good omen to find the right person to cut your hair, so when you do you hold on for life, right? Unless they move away, or you move away. SAD.

I've been meaning to write a post called, "On Getting a Bad Hair Cut". The first one happened for me in July. The second one happened two weeks ago. Since overcoming my immediate hair trauma, I've reached a place of positivity. And like with most unseen mishaps, there are a few good lessons to be learned in a bad hair cut. 

What I've learned about getting 2 bad haircuts now:

Be assertive. If you are sitting in the cutting chair and you start to sense that this hair cut is going in the wrong direction, say something. You can say something like, "Just want to make sure we're on the same page..." The truth is you're the customer and if you're feeling insecure, the stylist probably is too. It's also good to clarify specifics about what you want before the cut begins. I've realized I leave a little too much room for interpretation and end up feeling disappointed. Being too vague is one of my biggest struggles. In life. 

Bring that phoooooto! So I've learned that I don't have great vocabulary when it comes to hair. "Like layered but not choppy. Not flippy. More whispy than full, but not too flat." A photo can say a lot of things I can't.

Give it a few days. With both bad hair cuts, I ended up warming up to them (or getting used to them). It challenged me to get out of my box and try something new. I also learned new ways to style my hair that have helped me accept and/or mask the cut.

Along with my search to find a great stylist in Atlanta, I've also struggled to find the right hair cut for the mom me. The few qualifications were: shorter, easier, and still flattering. Which, in other words, is called The Lob (the long bob). So here is my testimony to The Lob. It's flirty, but still mature. It's flattering for most face shapes. It works for most hair types (really thin or really thick might be hard).

For a fancier look, I like to do loose messy curls and pin one side back.

   

Monday Inspiration // Natural Wipes

Last week I watched the video that's gone viral about the Huggies wipes. It was the final push to get me to finally try making my own baby wipes. Ever since I saw this post, I've been inspired to try it out. I'm very weary of long ingredient lists, especially when it's going near my little girl. I had already purchased a large box of Huggies wipes that I kept thinking, once I get through these I'll make my own. But each time I'd pull them out to use, I'd have a little bit of regret. I knew how much happier I'd feel using my own gentle ingredients on her body. I'm thrilled with the result and even get a little excited each time we get to use them! They smell like sweet mint.

1 Roll of paper towels (Viva brand is recommended)

1 3/4 Cup boiled water, cooled but still warm

1 Tbsp Coconut Oil

1 Tbsp Witch Hazel

1 Tbsp Castile Soap (I used Dr. Bronners Peppermint)

3 drops Tea Tree Oil

3 drops Lavender Oil

Cut (with scissors or knife) roll of towels in half. Depending on container shape, you can either keep them in the roll shape or fold them accordion style-my container wasn't tall enough to keep them in the roll so I folded mine. If you keep them in the roll, just remove the cardboard roll from the center and pull your first wipe from the center to start.  

In a separate bowl, mix together all the ingredients (I used a wire whisk). Pour the liquid mixture over the paper towels in their container, drenching towels evenly. 

Put on the lid and let them soak for 10 minutes then flip them upside down to absorb extra liquid. 

*The measurements in this recipe are for one half of the roll of paper towels. So just repeat to use the second half.    

I'm trying to think of the best way to carry around a stack of these homemade wipes in my diaper bag. I may just use a ziplock or a smaller tupperware. Any ideas?

  

Closeness

It occurred to me, this is the closest I will ever get to another human being. Right here, heart beat to heart beat. 

When Florence was younger and tinier and lighter, I wore a Baby Bjorn. It enabled the dishwasher to get unloaded. It was a part of our first dancing experience together. I'd bounce bravely down the grocery store aisles while subtlety flaunting my hands-free baby wearing situation. But the truth is-it's always sort of hurt my shoulders. My neck feels strained after the first 10 minutes. I've loved the idea of wearing it, of carry her right on me, but I've never been fully comfortable. It always felt a bit cumbersome. So I kind of gave up carrying her around on my chest. We became custom to the stroller for our daily excursions. And I never looked back at the baby wearing route.

Until now.

She's 6 months old. She's a whole 15 pounds. I love every ounce of that joyful little body. I love holding her on my hip and feeling her legs straighten in excitement when we move to music. Her hands will flap wildly sometimes making knots of my shoulder length hair. She often reaches up with both hands to hold the corners of my mouth, we'll get still and just look at one another as if to say there you are.

***

Before she was born, I had decided we'd have her sleep in her crib from the very first night onward. I wanted to establish her bedroom as a special place where mommy and baby nurse and play and then eventually, we get quiet and baby sleeps. I thought it was doing her a favor to teach her independence, to teach her how to enjoy her own space. I also knew I would be a better parent if I had my own space, and we both were sleeping.

***

I dropped Florence off at the church nursery last week. It had been many weeks since we've tried it again, the separating. I want to teach her it's okay when Momma leaves; Momma will come back. I want her to see that she can trust others and learn to enjoy their company. And so, we use nursery time once a week for practice.

At the end of the service I headed back up to the nursery for Florence. I found my way to the infant room and popped my head in. She was sitting in a saucer seat, there were residual tears under her eyes. The caretaker reassured me that Florence had been happy and content playing in her seat for the majority of the time, it was only when they picked her up to change her diaper that she lost it. She then said, "She's a very independent baby. She's happy to be left alone." My throat tightened a little. "She is, huh? Independent you say?" And suddenly I didn't want her to be the independent baby.

I started to recount all the little things I had done to promote this self sufficiency; and in a moment I wanted to take it all back. I should have let her sleep next to me when she was a newborn. I should have gone in to her room when she was crying that one time. I should have worn a carrier more often. I shouldn't leave her with anyone yet, she's too young! What if I've created long-term trust issues? What have I done?

The thing is, as a parent, you never know if what your doing is the best thing for your baby. You glide on what you hope is the best thing. And often, I find myself changing my mind all the time about what is best.

So, now. I've started going in to her room more often when she cries. I hold her just to hold her.

The truth is, she's perfectly fine. I've never denied her my love or affection. I've coddled to each one of her needs. I've been there, always. And frankly, she's just an independent kid. She naturally sings to herself alone in her crib when she wakes up. She calmly plays in her discovering world. I've never forced independence upon her. She is as content as any other baby, she just lasts a little longer without needing my entertainment. After all, that was me as a kid too.

***

This past week we've been borrowing an ergo carrier from a friend. Trying it out before buying one. And every single time we've worn it, Florence falls fast asleep. She bobs around excitedly for the first 20 mins until gradually her movements slow down, her hands drape heavily from her little loose arms that dangle at my sides. And she sleeps. It's the sweetest thing. It made me realize how much she still craves Momma's closeness. And I'm desperate to give it to her. 

MONDAY INSPIRATION // Head Wraps

Grecian Two Twist

Lately, it's been SO hot. Like unbearably sticky and stale. I'm in survival mode here and rushing to pull any amount of hair up and away from my neck and shoulders. But, I'm so bored with the pony tail. The top knot has run it's course (for now). So my new inspiration is head wraps.

Since we moved to Atlanta, I've been in awe of all the cool stylish women walking around with their hair wrapped up into artistic bundles. I'd pass them thinking to myself, if only. If only I had the hair or the scarf or the training-I'd wear one of those.   

Well I got smart and I youtubed it. And, most of the wraps are surprisingly simple to do. And, they're a pretty cute look, even on this white girl. And best of all, they're keeping my hair where it needs to be: UP. 

Here's my favorite tutorial on 15 different ways to wear a head wrap. Above, I'm sporting the Grecian Two Twist. For best results use a thin, fairly long scarf so you can get a good tight wrap. Have fun and enjoy!